Deciding A Fate Momoir Project

A time where I had to choose in what I believed in was when I went to Church. When I was little I went to Church every Saturday and Sunday. This made me very Christian. However, what really changed and disturbed my mind was the fact that my parents weren’t Christian. I didn’t know why but my parents were Buddhist and they want their sons to be Christians. If you really think about it, it is very strange. When I was in Church we would pray before we eat but when I am having dinner with my family I didn’t. Going to Church was great but in my mind I couldn’t decide whether I was a Buddhist or a Christian. This all happened when I was a child, about five years ago. I went to Church until I was around eight.

Now in those three years going to Church impacted me a lot. I know definitely that I was a Christian at that time. But the reason for me quitting Church was because I had moved to Alameda. Going to Church on Sundays and Saturday was nearly impossible. So I quit for about 4 years or so until I got to 7^th grade. I started going again because it wasn’t really Church but it was. It was a youth group. I went on Friday nights. I saw the same people there when I was little. Not going to Church really changes you. The way I thought was completely different from others. Their personalities were much calmer and I really that. So then I went to the youth group for about a year, everyday on Friday nights. Occasionally there were parties and all those good stuff.

After those two years, I quit again when I got into High School. I stopped going because of all the school work. It really makes me wonder if I am still a Christian and what would have happened if I had stayed in Church my whole life. It also makes me wonder why I went to Church in the first place. My parents aren’t Christians. I really think that if I had stayed I would have become much different from what I am now. I probably would not have sworn all the time. I would have become less violent. On top of that I would know what belief I really am. Lately I have been stuck between in Christianity and Buddhism. They all mean the same thing. Like respect and honoring people. I really think I am Christian but I haven’t absorbed enough to be a full Christian.

I only believe in Christianity so far until the point where I start contradicting myself. What is real religion? Things like theory and evolution just makes me stand in the middle. I can’t decide on anything. For an example, I have an Asian family and my parents believe in praying the sky and all the gods. In fact when they pray to their god so do I. Chinese New Year is coming up and a lot of ritual should be preformed. I don’t know the real meaning but I still do it. This is same for all religion. You do some type of ritual whether it is praying or giving blessing. You can always ask why? Why must we do a certain thing? Why must we follow what other people are doing?

Another thing that really bothers me is when people say they are a full type of a religion when deep down inside they might not know anything about it. I know for sure that I am not Christian and Buddhist. So what am I? I think that people like me should actually think twice and reconsider what you believe in and what you don’t. Also reconsider what you use to believe in and what you don’t. Reconsider what you are force to believe in. And most importantly reconsider what you really are.

My Four Weekend

My weekend kicked off with a movie at my friend's house. There was about seven people and we had a crazy time. That was the only thing I did that day. I also had a lot of homework to do. Chinese New Year was on Sunday. My family and I went out for tea. My dad said we have to drink tea and eat dim sum on the first day of Chinese New Year. I also get lots of Red Envelopes.

Chinese New Years also comes with lots of cleaning. So I had to clean every spot in the house. Chinese New Years is practically the equivalent of Spring Cleaning. So cleaning every inch of the house was really tiring. Chinese New Year also has lots of other traditions such as giving praise to religion and all the Gods. I don't know why I do it but my parent said it's for luck.

Praying is something I really don't really get. We have to pray at certain days of certain times and use specify things to pray with. In the of praying we also have to burn stuff for the dead. I really don't see why we have to but I was just told to do these things since I was little and so were my parents. My parents also believe in Fong-Sway. Which is Wind-Water. It is basically super sedition. All of that includes things like not washing you hair on Chinese New Years because it will wash away your luck. And sweeping the floor because of sweeping away your luck. There are more than hundreds of things and I have basically follow all those "rules".

Ready Set Go

Track season just started this Monday. I can't wait until I start running. I couldn't run on Monday because I didn't turn in all my forms. I got all my forms done and all I need to do it turn it all in. There's also a new policy where we have to pay a lot more for track this year. There are also new track uniforms so I am really looking forward to it. One thing that has been really disturbing me is the freshmens. All the freshmens this year seem to act very differently. What I think is that they are really full of them selves. Some of the freshmens don't really know what respect is and they all brag about how they are so good.

For an example, there is this one freshmen in my French class that said that he is faster than me. When in reality I'm actually faster. The thing is he won't stop bragging about how good he when he isn't. It sort of annoys me. Another REALLY annoying thing is when people say that they can do track. This is a very big one. Practically everyone said that they can do track and track is easy. People that are in basketball, football, and more says that its easy. It is as if we are looked down upon. People think that track is a easy sport. It really annoys me because not everyone can run track. Well everyone can because the coach doesn't cut.

Not everyone is talented in running and people just say that track is a weak sport. So anyways. Track season is about to start and I really hope all the freshmens that don't care about track and think that it is a easy sport would leave. Because that generally happens every year. When the season starts and we are two weeks into it all of the people that think that way will quit. Only the people that want to work hard will stay for the real challenge.

My Day February 4, 2010

Today was really tiring. I really dislike math. Where’s that dislike button? Anyways stuff are just getting harder and harder. I mean the class is great and all but I think it's a bit to hard. I’m going to do my best and just try to pass the class and go into regular Calculus. God knows what grade I will get. Anyways. Our P.E. wasn’t suppose to go bowling today because our teacher wasn’t there but then we went anyways because of the substitute. It was actually really boring and I didn’t feel like bowling today.

I finally got my physical done. All that is left is turning it in. I went to track today. There are only five or so Freshmens there. I can’t wait until track season starts. So juiced cause France and Andrew are joining. But it is going to also suck with out Alvin and Laura. Not to mention all the Seniors from last year. I only saw one Freshmen that was some what fast. I think he is faster than me actually. It's nice to have fast people on the team. Now if only we had a better field. Today I saw this guy doing track conditioning and I swear to God his hair looked exactly like Inoue Joe. Inoue Joe is a famous Japanese singer. I’m not lying. Oh yeah this one Freshmen kinda mad me mad because she stopped doing the drills and stuff just to talk to other people. Sigh.

Anyways after track. Me, France, Ricky, Shuan, Alvin, Andrew, Johnson, and Ian played some basketball. I got really sore afterward. Oh and Raymond joined in a while later. So that’s pretty much it.

I need to start focusing like crazy. My grades are dropping so much…At least that’s what I think. Do you ever get that feeling where you are failing? But in reality you have like a "B" or something. When you think about it, it isn’t that bad. Anyways I know for sure I’m not getting math. I should study more. Like without the computer on or something. Tomorrow I’m going to "TRY" and not go on. Fighting!